• Christsean Sams

Strength is Holding us Back

Updated: Aug 16

How to prevent exhaustion as Afro Women.

No race of women has been more programed to believe that we are better when we are exhausted than us, The Afro Woman.

   Now, it is time for us to create a new voice. A voice that sets boundaries and practice self preservation. The time has come for us to put ourselves first and leave the mindset of accomplishing 
success through self sacrifice.

4 Ways We Can Prevent Exhaustion

  1. Ask for Help

The main stream media loves fantasizing about people's "rags to riches" stories; as if their personal talents alone was enough for them to prosper. The idea of individualism is what keeps many of us from seeking the comfort of aid. Here in America, they tell us "work hard enough and you will be able to successfully maneuver through the world alone."

I'll never deny that self independence is a quality worth developing. We are in fact individuals with our own lives and dreams. The ability to accomplish our goals by ourselves provides confidence. But, we are stronger together.

     Behind every great person there is a great team. We are not created to be in this world alone. We don't have to make everything happen by ourselves. We save time, energy, and unnecessary stress when we understand that we can not always be the *expert*. The African proverb "its takes a village", is the perfect motto to live by when you start to feel overburdened. The problems we experience is not unique to the individual. There are many people who carry our troubles, and there are many more awaiting to help us move forward.
"Its Okay To" Illustration by Christsean Sams.
"Its Okay To" Illustration by Christsean Sams.

2. Take a break

Have you ever experienced finding something when you weren't looking for it anymore?

You tried everything in your power to located that item, and when you finally just give up, boom!...there it goes. You quickly realize that it was never lost; you were actually just too stressed to find it in the moment.

  As much as we would like to we can't do everything at once. When we give ourselves the space to reset and rest, we can revisit our task with fresh ideas and perspectives. 
We accomplish more when we take care of ourselves, so avoid the convenience of having it all together right now. Allow the process to unfold organically by giving yourself space. It will be there waiting for you when you ready.

3. Speak your Mind

It is better to speak your mind and tell the truth than to stay quiet and lie to yourself.

Agreeability is regaurded as a quality that gets people further in life. But, if they aren't comfortable with what is happening around them, where are they really going? My answer for this question is nowhere; just agreeing with their own unhappiness.

  Speaking your mind is a practice necessary for protecting your own peace. Ignoring red flags just to please those around you, will only create more ill emotions for yourself. It may be uncomfortable to say what no one else is willing to say, but it is never worth compromising what you truly believe.

4. Be Yourself We fall into the traps of living our lives in a certain way, not because it represents who we are, but because it represents an idea of success or accomplishment.

But, everything don't work for everybody. When you relate to life differently than those around you, you become tired and overwhelmed trying to force yourself to be like everyone else.

Accepting our flaws, passions, and personalities is a form of self care. Who we are might not be the most appealing to the crowds, but it is the path to maintaining wellness.


Strength will not make up for passion. It will not help you solve your problems, and it does not make you better than anyone els. Strength just creates a sense of pride for being able to be broken. I dare you to see what happens when you deny strength, and show up as you truly are.

As a collective, it is better for all us when are vulnerable with ourselves and each other; when we stop viewing our strength as a compliment and more importantly, stop calling ourselves "strong."

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